What's Up Wednesday

What’s Up Wednesday is a weekly meme started by Jaime Morrow and Erin Funk that allows us to touch base with blog friends and let them know what’s up.

It's also the best way for me to update what I've been doing because, you guys, my brain is a little broken between a very busy June and edits on MISFITS. I'm hoping July will be a nice relaxing month where I finish the edits and my agent still loves the book. *fingers crossed*

What I'm reading

Sadly, I haven't really had a chance to read in the last few weeks. Between edits and work and traveling to Delaware to visit family, (my new nephew is the cutest boy EVER, by the way) I just haven't had time. When this happens, I'll normally grab a book I've already read a few times and read my favorite scenes, just to have something to read before I fall asleep, but I haven't dug into anything new. I plan to change this very soon.

What I'm Writing

Still working on edits. This is going to be a theme for the rest of the year, just in case you were wondering. I have lots of things to dig through and I'm preeetttty excited about it.

What Else I've Been Up To

As I mentioned above, I went to Delaware to see my family this past week. I got to spend time with my sister, who just moved up into the Vice Principal position at her local elementary school. There is one of my WIPS that I really hope people get to read (okay, I'd like people to read all of them) because I not only named the school principal after my sister but the whole character is based off of her. I also got to watch my niece play softball and she's still not only a great kid but an awesome softball player. And then I saw my new nephew (via best friend, not my sister) and niece, who are so cute it hurts. It's funny that my best friend's kids call me Aunt Brandy but when my real niece was born, I was younger and didn't want to be called Aunt anything because it made me feel old. Go figure.

What Inspires Me Right Now

Music! I've always listened to music while brainstorming. It helps me set the mood for whatever scene is coming up. I can't listen to music while I'm writing though, because it distracts me. Recently, I've been trying to find songs that match up to the feeling I need for big scenes in my current edits, just to help with the punch of emotion I want to deliver. I don't know if it's helping, but I do know that if I hear a certain song on the radio, it makes me want to re-read whatever book I'd matched it up to.

Writing is weird.

Books, self-doubt and other things I'm dealing with this week.

I really wish I was the kind of writer who so fully believes in themselves that they hand over their books for people to read and say, "I wrote this, you'll love it."  Instead, I fall into the category of writer who tells people I'll let them read it and then I put it off for as long as possible.  And then when I do finally give in, I make sure I don't have to see them for a while, so I don't have be face-to-face with someone who may hate my book.  It's an on-going joke with everyone I know that when my books are (fingers crossed!) published, I'll be hiding under my bed.

I mean, I love my books, and obviously I thought they were pretty okay enough to query agents and now I actually have one, but oddly, this has done nothing to squelch the self-doubt that I usually deal with.  For instance, I've been reading through older WIPS because my agent wants to see them and multiple times this week, I've been positive that she'll read them and be all, "Now that I've thought about this, I've changed my mind."

I was smiling while reading an e-mail the other day and my mom saw me and asked why I looked like a crazy person smiling at my phone.  My answer?  My agent had just e-mailed me back, and obviously still wanted to work with me because of the e-mailing.

I'm not joking, guys.  This is my life. 

I'm not saying it hasn't been very life-affirming to have someone love my books as much as I do and to believe that I have enough talent to want to work with me long-term, but when does the self-doubt stop?  Or does it?  Are all writers just really fragile?

I bet it doesn't.  I bet we are.  Good grief.

So anyway, this is the glamorous life of someone who just signed with an amazing agent!  Which, by the way, I'm still super, super excited about.  Don't let all of the self-doubt whining fool you, I'm pumped.  I'm just also nervous.  Hopefully it's normal.  If not, well... I don't know.

In other news, I'm reading REBOOT by Amy Tintera and GOOD LORD, is that book good.  I'm hoping to finish it today because I have to work all weekend.  It definitely gives me jealous I-wish-I'd-thought-of-that feelings, but it's so good that I'm not sure I could have done it better.  It's a must-read, so go ahead and add it to your TBR pile!

Okay, that's it.  Feel free to leave comments about your self-doubt to make me feel normal. Don't be shy!