Books, self-doubt and other things I'm dealing with this week.

I really wish I was the kind of writer who so fully believes in themselves that they hand over their books for people to read and say, "I wrote this, you'll love it."  Instead, I fall into the category of writer who tells people I'll let them read it and then I put it off for as long as possible.  And then when I do finally give in, I make sure I don't have to see them for a while, so I don't have be face-to-face with someone who may hate my book.  It's an on-going joke with everyone I know that when my books are (fingers crossed!) published, I'll be hiding under my bed.

I mean, I love my books, and obviously I thought they were pretty okay enough to query agents and now I actually have one, but oddly, this has done nothing to squelch the self-doubt that I usually deal with.  For instance, I've been reading through older WIPS because my agent wants to see them and multiple times this week, I've been positive that she'll read them and be all, "Now that I've thought about this, I've changed my mind."

I was smiling while reading an e-mail the other day and my mom saw me and asked why I looked like a crazy person smiling at my phone.  My answer?  My agent had just e-mailed me back, and obviously still wanted to work with me because of the e-mailing.

I'm not joking, guys.  This is my life. 

I'm not saying it hasn't been very life-affirming to have someone love my books as much as I do and to believe that I have enough talent to want to work with me long-term, but when does the self-doubt stop?  Or does it?  Are all writers just really fragile?

I bet it doesn't.  I bet we are.  Good grief.

So anyway, this is the glamorous life of someone who just signed with an amazing agent!  Which, by the way, I'm still super, super excited about.  Don't let all of the self-doubt whining fool you, I'm pumped.  I'm just also nervous.  Hopefully it's normal.  If not, well... I don't know.

In other news, I'm reading REBOOT by Amy Tintera and GOOD LORD, is that book good.  I'm hoping to finish it today because I have to work all weekend.  It definitely gives me jealous I-wish-I'd-thought-of-that feelings, but it's so good that I'm not sure I could have done it better.  It's a must-read, so go ahead and add it to your TBR pile!

Okay, that's it.  Feel free to leave comments about your self-doubt to make me feel normal. Don't be shy!

An Agent Story

You know how sometimes you research an agent and you see something, just a little something, that makes you think, "We could be good together!"?  Well, I thought that a few months ago, when I found the bio of Becca Stumpf at Prospect Agency.  It was this one line in her bio that said, "Fantasy/SciFi is not just for nerds anymore, so let's bring it to the masses!"  Of course, I'm 100 percent nerd, but I'm the kind of nerd that's constantly trying to get people to come see the next Marvel movie with me, not just because they're awesome, but so I can enlighten them.  Know what I mean?

So anyway, I felt that I could really get on board with the whole bringing Fantasy/SciFi to the masses with MISFITS, so I crossed my fingers and sent the query.  Well, guess what guys???  I am now represented by the amazingly bright, helpful and fun Becca Stumpf!

It was a big decision and I had some other things going on, but one phone call with Becca sealed the deal.  Number one, she's really knowledgeable, great to talk to and she loves MISFITS -and let me tell you- I've been waiting a loooong time for that!  Number two, she laughs a lot and makes me want to sit and have coffee with her just to talk about books and other fun things.  But also, I really feel good about working with her.  I think we're really on the same page about my books and my career, not to mention that right when I logged on to my e-mail to tell her I wanted to work with her, she e-mailed me to check in.  Like, at the very same time.

I'm not one to talk about fate or anything... but come on!

So now it's time to get to work.  I'm excited and a little (a lot) overwhelmed, but I'm ready.  Also, anything that can be documented will totally be documented here.  To show people what it's like, of course, but also to serve as proof that this is actually, finally happening.

So my last post about queries and how hard it is?  Totally true, but please don't give up.  Seriously, just don't, okay?  Okay.